Saturday, January 27, 2018

A Beating Heart.

"I am and always will be the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes.
The dreamer of improbable dreams." ~The Doctor
(Doctor Who)

To my dearest friends and followers,

I find it truly amazing what can happen over the course of a year. One year. 365 days. 12 months. 52 weeks. 8,760 hours. If you really think about it, it's not much time at all. How quickly does a single year pass in one's life? Ever so quickly, I have discovered. Thinking where I was a year ago and where I am now, I would never have guessed this is where my life would lead me. 

A year ago, I had just finished writing my first novel, Beyond The Veil. A year ago I was in college. A year ago I was living in a house I did not belong, in a place I did not like. Now I am trying to edit and rewrite portions of Beyond The Veil. I have just finished college and now waiting to graduate in the upcoming months. I have left my parents house and moved to a place I love. I have a job now. Not a great job by any means, but a job and an environment I enjoy. I have met an amazing man and have been in a relationship for nearly 7 months.

It's so easy to find ourselves in a rut. To find ourselves only existing. Work. School. Dinner. A movie. Sleep. Repeat. How dull is that? How unproductive is that? That was my life for a few years. I felt like I wasn't doing what I wanted to do. And then I changed that. I was tired of waiting for "someday." Someday I'll graduate. Someday I'll get a job. Someday I'll move out. Someday I'll get married. Someday I'll do what I want to do. Someday I'll be happy.

Why couldn't that day be today? I could be happy if I chose to be - be happy now. I could read more. I could write more. I could draw more. I could create more. I focused on my blog more. I began reviewing books for indie authors. I loved that!! I loved everything I was doing. My situations weren't always the best, but I made the most of them. I was content. I was happy. And I am happy now.

This past year was by far one of the most exciting years I've had. I felt more alive than I had in a while. I found infinite moments. I found love. I stepped out into the wild - the unknown. It is dangerously wonderful†. It is not perfect though and I don't expect it to be, but it is beautiful.
Something I had thought about before, but now I strive towards, is simply to live. Not just to exist. But to live. To feel alive. Live for the now. Live for little moments. Live to be a little weird. Live for new experiences. Live for adventure. And above all, live for the wild unknown. Live for love. And in everything, glorify God.

My beating heart is not what defines me as being alive. Rather, me being alive is defined by the wild dreamer that I am. A daughter of the Almighty God. An eternal soul with a passion for beauty. I am and always will be the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes. The dreamer of improbable dreams. Dreams of someday, but making the most of now because I choose this.

I choose to be alive. I choose to live.

Yours truly,

† Into The Wild lyrics by Lewis Watson @LewisWatson 2014 © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., MBG Rights Management US, LLC.